Dear Sir,

I'm an extraterrestrial and I resent the implication you make in the "Roswell Extraterrestrial Delusional UFO Worshipers Club Qualification Examination" that people who believe in extraterrestrial life are either mentally ill or alcoholics or squirrel-eating pickup truck drivers or scheming anarcho-syndicalists. I have had my own problems back on my planet, but no one ever described me as a sick person for believing in Earthlings. Just shows how much better we are than you small-minded bigots with oversized testicles.

I could easily abduct you and turn you inside out, but I'm superior to you and I won't resort to violence.

-- $#&^&)(*^^$$#

Dear $#&^&)(*^^$$#,

You watch too much PBS.

-- WPH