SCIENTISTS DISCOVER LIFE ON EARTH

A group of scientists from the University of Conformist Nonconformity has just found life on earth. Using several new hydroelectrothermographic pseudoinductive hyperbioprotoplasmicisers to collect their data, the team of scientists found almost humanlike creatures along with cute little bugs and lots of slimy watery fishlike creatures. "This discovery may have incredible consequences," Dr. Linktinker, the team leader, stated. "All we have thought before might not really be what we were thinking, but I think what we thought about was only thinking about being thoughtful which I think is only a thoughtful way of thinking about thinking. But we know now that life exists on earth, and this will be very important when we fill out our grant proposals next month."

But one anonymous member of the group doesn’t agree. "We have not proven anything. Whether life exists on earth is still a hypothesis. We have to continue studying this, perhaps for several generations before we really know that what we know we know for sure and we don’t know that until we know what is known and knowable and what we don’t know is known."

They all seem to agree that whether this is important or not, it is important that we know that it is not important to know whether it is important or not. Until then, scientists can only keep working until we know.