FOAM IS FOUND TO BE FOAMY!

EXCLUSIVE! FOAM IS FOUND TO BE FOAMY!
Someone has stumbled on a fact that was right in front of our noses. Kenneth Greentree and his two sons Eric and Derek have discovered that foam is foamy. While the three of them were building bombs in their back yard, Mr. Greentree happened to drop a pipe on a piece of foam, and noticed that it softened the pipe's landing. Eric,8, and Derek, 10, were stunned:

"I couldn't believe it, it was so squishy!" Eric said with delight.

"Yeah, and I thought, if I put that over my head then Daddy can't hurt me when he hits me with a pipe," Derek said.

But according to some experts, this discovery may have negative consequences. Dr. Dick Flatt, a forensic gynecologist, thinks that the foaminess of foam might lead people to expect everything to be soft and squishy and comfy, and people will get lazy and fat and complacent. "Not only will they want soft things, but they might get rid of all hard things that are necessary for society to function, and there will be a total societal breakdown. Women may stop going to gynecologists and prefer to go out and pillage, steal, and nurture things all day long." Whatever the consequences, it will require careful planning and lots of money from the government for everybody. For more information about foam, click on the link to the Webpage of Foam, www.foamisawesome.com.