THE ENEMIES OF ISLAM, MODERATE VERSION, ALLAH BE PRAISED


Dear Infidels,

In response to Ahmadinejad's list of the enemies of Islam (re: "Sudan, Iran vow to defeat 'enemies of Islam'", AFP, March 1, 2007)

A list has been compiled by me, Mohammad Bagher Qalibaf, moderate mayor of Tehran, praise Allah.

The Enemies of Islam, Moderate Version: (I cross out the ones that are hard-line like stupid Mahmoud)

Zionists
Jews
Jewish Zionists
Jewish-American Zionists
Zionists who pretend not to be Zionists
Non-Jewish Zionists from Australia
Americans
American cowboy Bush
American cowboy Cheney
Britains
Infidel Whore Females
Infidel Whore Males
Females
Males
Pigs
Zionist or non-Zionist Infidels who eat pigs
Antarctica
Homosexuals
Mammals that engage in homosexual behavior
Fish that engage in homosexual behavior
Little babies who cry, especially females
Frozen dinners
LCD TVs (Plasma OK)
Mr. Rogers
Christians
Sunni Muslims
Buddhists
Zoroastrians
Pedestrians
Carbohydrates
Cholesterol
Hindus
Iraqis
Kurds
Britney Spears, infidel whore
Paris Hilton
Zimbabwe
Ethiopia
All infidels who don't believe in twelfth imam
Vegetables
United Nations Security Council
Bertucci's
All delicatessens
Pepsi
Democracy
Oligarchy
Pope Benedict XVI
Ann Coulter
Musicals with Ethel Merman
People who smile, especially whores
Beard trimmers
Bikinis
All books except Holy Qur'an
Europeans
Goddamned Canadians
Starbucks
Freemasons
Little kids
Big kids
Adults
Senior Citizens
Amusement parks
Cotton candy
Microsoft
Angelina Jolie, self-righteous whore infidel
Infidel son of a whore Bambi!
Dogs
Cats
All pets
Any movie with Ben Affleck
Tostitos
Seafood
Rachael Ray
Trekkies
Goths
Janet Reno
Prince Charles
Crocodile Dundee
Smokers
Non-smokers
Non-smoking Zionists
Ronald McDonald
Scientologists
Zoologists
Accountants
Trans-fatty acids
Aerosmith after they sold out
Dentists



That's much more tolerant, yes?

Mohammad Bagher Qalibaf