Let's All Go, Go to Guantanamo

Ground Loco II Entertainment News Reporter Studley Reemer Reporting

I want to know whyyyy we want to shut down Guantanamo. All the beautiful people... well most of the beautiful people, want to close it down and send everyone away. I'm beautiful, but I don't agree. I don't see any problem being on a warm island in a camp full of hundreds of men and where there was some sadomasochism going on. Some of my friends would pay money to be in a situation like that! Ok, seriously, maybe we can send the thugs somewhere else and the U.S. of A. government could turn it into some kind of tourist hotel. They could charge exorbitant rates and use the money to pay for their universal health care coverage. Or pay for anything come to think of it, since there is no money left for squat. Think of all the celebrities who would go there and lecture us about how bad the US is. They could have their headlines and at the same time would be contributing to the funding of all kinds of goodies that celebrities love; AIDS research, rehab programs, going green... the possibilites are endless!

-Studley