INTERVIEW WITH THE DIRECTOR OF TUFFS HEALTH PLAN, DON CRUMBLY
BS: Today I have with me the Director of Operations at Tuffs Health Plan, the dude who makes all the decisions, Mr. Don Crumbly. Itís good to have you here Mr. Crumbly.
DC: I know.
BS: How do you respond to some of the criticisms that your company gets about not paying out claims and generally giving doctors a hard time.
DC: I donít.
BS: You donít respond?
DC: Not unless dey get on my nerves. Den I send my boys out.
BS: How do you mean?
DC: Dey, uh, resolve the conflict, know what Iím sayiní?
BS: Oh, conflict resolution! You have classes on that?
DC: Yeah, we get together in a room, and we uhhh, talk it over. Basically we tell Ďem to say whatís on their minds, and we say datís nice, but weíre right so shut your f*****í face. Sort of like sexual harassment training.
BS: Youíre so progressive!
DC: And if that donít work, Vinny works on Ďem.
BS: Vinny from Tuffs?
DC: Damn, youíre good. I think youíre sick though. You on our plan?
DC: Why not?
BS: Iím on this other HMO.
DC: You wanted to interview me, but you ainít even on our plan?
BS: You donít pay for anything!
DC: Youíre goiní down a**hole.
BS: What about conflict resolution?
DC: What a codependent mother f*****. Vinny!
This interview has been censored by Surf Nanny due to graphic violence that is not appropriate for minors, especially for disturbed teens whose yuppie parents have forgotten their names.