THE SECRET POLICE ENTRANCE EXAMINATION

Note: Please donít tell anyone about this

 

 

1. The struggle between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat is a _______ struggle.

a) silly

b) political

c) huh?

d) utopian

 

2. Communism is _______.

a) inevitable

b) inevitable

c) inevitable

d) inevitable

 

3. A citizen looks at you and smiles. What is the proper response?

a) shoot

b) use your club

c) stake out citizen's house

d) smile back

 

4. What is the proper procedure when installing wiretaps?

a) make sure he isn't home before you start

b) make sure he is home before you start

c) knock on door, handcuff, make him talk into phone

d) none of the above is appropriate

 

5. Fyodor has 3 dollars. Nikolai asks him for 50 cents. He gives it. How much should Nikolai have asked for?

a) 50 cents

b) 3 dollars

c) nothing

d) it doesn't matter because we are all comrades, we share everything and the state will find out how he got the 3 dollars and confiscate it anyway and it will be distributed to the oppressed because greedy capitalism is doomed.

 

6. At a party someone says something bad about the government. How long should you wait before apprehending him?

a) 30 seconds

b) 5 minutes

c) wait till after the party

d) why were they having a party anyway?

 

7. Who wrote the Communist Manifesto?

a) Karl Marx

b) Groucho Marx

c) Josef Stalin

d) Fidel Castro

 

8. What do you think about the US?

a) I don't think

b) I bang my shoe on the table when I think about the US

c) greedy capitalist pigs

d) It is a wonderful country

 

SCORING:

1 point for each correct answer

need 7 to pass

if you answered "d" on number 8, please see your instructor now

 

PART TWO - ESSAY QUESTIONS - 10 points each

1) Describe how Comrade Lenin freed the proletariat from the capitalist oppressors in 1917 and how this changed the world forever.

2) Mao Tse Tung, Fidel Castro, Josef Stalin, and Pablo Picasso all had one thing in common. what was that and how does it relate to our cause?

3) Why are death camps a good idea?