Joel Macadamia was a high school dropout, but man could he play the guitar. He joined a blues band and the next thing you know he was lickin' B. B. King's boots, or shoes, actually we don't know what type of shoes he wore but whatever they were there was saliva on 'em. But one day he gave in... to cocaine. He lost all of his money and he went to B. B.
"I need some money to get high dude."
"I'm a star man. Go sell your body parts or something."
So Joel sold his body parts one by one. But then, without arms, he couldn't play the guitar anymore, so he joined the circus. He was smoking crack now, with difficulty of course.
He went into rehab and got over it, but he had no legs so he needed a ride back to the circus. His friends welcomed him back and they had fun... for a while. In six months he was hooked again and he had to sell more body parts. All he had left was his head and torso.
At last, he sold his torso to Max & Fred's Used Torsos for $99.95 plus a certificate of appreciation.
All Joel could do now was roll around with his head. Life really got tough now. People didn't want to be seen with him. He couldn't go to the bathroom.
Finally, sadly, he starved to death because he had nowhere to keep his money and he wasn't able to push the cart at the grocery store. Besides, he had no stomach.
His friends in the circus chipped in and he was buried in a 12-inch long coffin in a Chicago cemetery, with the tombstone inscription:
"Here lies Joel Macadamia, a man with a big heart."