Is There Hope for Vladimir Putin? Is There Hope for His Hair? Or His Successor?

Ground Loco II Entertainment News Reporter Studley Reemer Reporting

The sexiest Russian man alive, I say, but I don't think Vladimir Putin has been too happy lately. I mean he's totally hot when he pouts for the camera, or struts his stuff shirtless, but you can tell he's down in the dumps. First of all, look at the growing forehead! Russians must have hair clubs, but apparently he's too busy trying to get his successor "elected" in a perfectly free fair election.

You can see the pain in his eyes, the forlorn existential angst eating his insides saying "I used to be a totally sexy president, but soon I'll just be pulling the strings in the dark somewhere, because my hair is going the way of the Soviet Union."

My stylist could do something for him. The same way he does things for me. But I don't know about his handpicked puppet... what's his name, Dmitry Medvedev? What is it about these spooks, I guess they were trained to kill anybody who got in the way of the party, and now suddenly everyone hopes for democracy, but they have no idea. Cheating is just how it's done, Putin thinks hey, if I can fool President Bush and bare my glorious, kind, sweet soul to him, I can fool anybody. If he just worked on the hair and clothes, and Medvedev too... God, what's a girl to do when she sees a picture like this...

They're practically wearing the same clothes and they've got the same expression. It's like Vladimir is looking in a mirror. Like he's telling Dmitry to "do exactly what I do." Or they're getting ready to kiss each other, would be so hot that I could probably forgive him for not doing something about his hair. Of course men kiss each other all the time in Russia on the cheeks. God I wish I were Russian.