THE CORPORATE MARKETING QUALIFICATION EXAMINATION
Note: Please donít sell this to anyone
1. Your boss has just told you that you need to sell $10,000 worth of wacky widgets to a potential wacky widget client. How should you respond to this?
2. The best way to build up a customer base is to _______.
3. Marketing is a _______.
4. While giving your spiel to a customer in the conference room, you notice an annoying itch in your right nostril. What should you do?
5. The smell of my breath is _______.
6. An engineer walks into your office and says "wacky widgets have a metallic hardness quotient of .8 which is higher than their coefficient of static friction on a 40 degree incline of .7439823 and therefore are resistant to vibrations of 100 khz which is lower than their resonant frequency of 91824 khz at 20 degrees Celsius, although the amount of torque it can handle at its center of mass is 234 ft.-lbs/sq. in. according to the second law of thermodynamics." How do you translate this to your boss?
7. THE best beer is _______.
8. At meetings, I am always _______.
9. While negotiating a price to your client, you realize that you have just about closed a deal, and that you did a great job and your boss will be really happy. What would be your most likely reaction to this realization?
10. You have been notified that there will be massive layoffs in engineering and marketing, soon. What will be your gut reaction?