Where Can I Buy Al Gore Offsets?

Ground Loco II Entertainment News Reporter Studley Reemer Reporting

Ohhhh, my God. All of these smarmy suburbanites, besides wearing completely ugly outfits and shoes, are parroting Al Gore cliches over and over... it's like listening to a diva whiiiiine about lipstick and eyeliner and botox I mean people can we get a grip here? If we could get some Al Gore offsets, you know, like one Al Gore offset represents the reduction of one metric ton of Al Gore's breath. I would be first in line to get some of those, as long as Neiman Marcus weren't having a sale. I'd save up and spend my money on Al Gore offsets, and give up buying new shoes for a while, just so I could have some peace and quiet.

And while I'm at it, some Hollywood Celebrity offsets as a side dish, I mean they may wear Gucci and look nice but they sure give me a headache, the same way some smarmy little kid tells me to stop buying bottled water because I'm destroying the planet.

Listen fools, just go out and live in a teepee and use your feces for manure and grow your own organic alfalfa, and just let me go on cross-dressing and going to musicals and drinking my bottled water please. "A Chorus Line" is my favorite by the way. And "Hair!" I just love tights.