I saw the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the Guard
And though the news looked rather bad
Well I just had to lament
Its a forged document

He said the document was real
He knew the story really was the truth
A crowd of people said theyre forged
Theyd seen him lie before
Nobody was really sure
If Rather really knew before

I saw an interview oh boy
A little lady said the docs were false
She said the sentiment was true
Dan said I told you so
He would surely know
Id love to turn him in.

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Gotta type this document
Found my way down to my lap-a-top
I typed it up, and noticed it looked great

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Gotta use the office fax
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody said that it went to CBS

I saw the news today oh boy
We made an error and were sorry
Although we made it in good faith.
Oh I am so amused
Now I know how many ***holes work at CBSs news
Id love to turn him in