I met a girl today oh boy
A blonde with very long and shapely legs
And though her hair looked rather bad
Well I just had to laugh
It looked good in the photograph
She blew my mind out in a car
We didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen her face before
Nobody was really sure if she was just a high class whore

I saw a film today oh boy
The Swedish Bobsie twins had made a score
A crowd of people went away
But I just had to stay
What will my wife say?
I'd love to turn her off...

Woke up, fell out of bed, took the axe out of my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a shot
And looking up, she threw a knife at me
Found my coat and grabbed my grass
Ran away to save my ass
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and we listened to the Who

I met a girl today oh boy
For a thousand bucks she'll wear a black brassiere
And though I could afford the dough
I'd had enough you know
Now I know I have to go and try to make my marriage grow
I'd love to turn her off