EXCERPT FROM AN INTERVIEW WITH A LITERATURE PROFESSOR WHOSE COLLEAGUE WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND FOUND THAT THEY USE AROMATHERAPY QUITE OFTEN

Douglas Rolaydes, a 52-year-old literature professor, has claimed that during his visit on a UFO, aliens told him that on their planet they use aromatherapy quite often. Rolaydes believes that this proves beyond a doubt that aromatherapy is not a fad. When asked about proof of his visit by aliens, Rolaydes said that many highly respected scientists believe that there is sufficient evidence to prove that UFOs exist and that aliens have been here. In his own words, "there are many alienophobes who donít want to believe that there are aliens, and they scapegoat them to show that aromatherapy is a fad, which is an attempt to avoid talking about aromatherapy altogether." Today I'm with one of Rolaydesí colleagues, Arthur Belcher, another 52-year-old literature professor, who agrees with Rolaydes.

BS: Many people believe that Professor Rolaydes became a cocaine addict after attending a Grateful Dead concert in 1971. Is that true?

Belcher: Not at all. He never touched cocaine. That is a rumor to discredit him.

BS: Letís assume that he indeed is telling the truth. Why did he not take pictures or try to give some kind of proof that he was on a UFO?

Belcher: Many people psychologically "turn off" when they want to deny something. This is what is happening. There is plenty of evidence that UFOs exist, that aliens are and have been here, and that the government covered it up in the 1950ís. Iím here to discuss aromatherapy, and if you continue to ask me such questions to justify your denial I will end this discussion right now and recommend that you seek professional help.

BS: Very well, professor. I shall note, however, that neither of you can prove that Rolaydes ever was on a UFO. So they recommended aromatherapy. How does this prove that it is not a fad?

Belcher: Aliens do it, so it is not a silly fad made up by guilt-ridden baby-boomers as some people allege.

BS: You claim that this is a transcendent proof of truth, yet in your lectures you explicitly deny that there is anything called objective truth. I have a transcript of one of your lectures from last week to prove it. I would like to believe you sir, and for our readers to believe you, so please explain why an alien visit proves anything.

Belcher: You have taken what I said in that lecture out of context. What I was saying is that there is no objective truth that is true objectively in a subjective examination of the truth without objectively true premises that are true regardless of the truth that is claimed to be true objectively without true objective evidence, though the truth that is objective is subjectively appropriated through the truthís objective premises in an objective way. There is truth in an objective sense when that claimed truth is objectively examined within objective enquiry provided that the examination of the truth is objective and the objective truth has objectively true premises and that the subjectivity of the examiner does not claim a truth which has been shown to have objectively true premises which are truly objective and also true in a subjective sense, but there is no objective truth if the objectivity of the premises which are regarded as true in a subjective sense is objectively examined subjectively to determine the truthfulness of the proof of truth, which is objectively certain only when the truth is objectively valid within objective enquiry and does not claim to be objectively true when the subjectivity of the so-called objectivity of the examiner is not true, though the objectively true premises and the objectivity of the subjective examinerís wish for the truth to be objective becomes an excuse for the subjectivity of the examinerís claim to truth to become objectively true in a subjective sense.

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While there are many skeptics who donít believe the story, Rolaydes, Belcher, and all of their colleagues insist that it is true that aliens use aromatherapy and that people must be cured of their alienophobia. Rolaydes says that he will ask his alien friends the next time he sees them whether or not they had ever met Princess Diana.